Turn My Back On You
by queenofsadness
Summary: As a man is laid to rest, the emotions overflow and all is finally revealed only to be drown by the rain. Please R/R
1. Trapped Without A Key Lana

**Turn My Back On You**

**Usual disclaimers apply**

**Spoilers: Crush**

                        I looked back at him and saw in his eyes all that I had been missing in my seemingly perfect life. The rain fell gracefully down his face, droplets clinging to his lashes and I felt the heavy weight of desolation bear upon my heart because I was trapped with the quarterback. I yearned for Clark like I had never yearned for anything in my life but to him I could not go. I realized that for everything that Whitney was to me, Clark was more, much more. Sadly, I knew that I would never have another chance to be with Clark. That one thought caused my heart the greatest pain even the death of my parents paled in comparison. I looked into those eyes. I looked deeply into his eyes and saw everything that I wanted and all that I needed. I also saw the death of our brief affair, in his shimmering emerald eyes, because now I was chained to the side of Whitney. I had to turn my back on Clark and the love that shined so very brightly from his beautiful eyes. The rain hid my sorrowful tears but it could not disguise my grief at the loss that I had just sustained at Whitney's hands. Because he wasn't that strong, he needed me but he wasn't at all what I needed and I ached to tell him. Never would he be mine. The dream would not become my reality. 


	2. The Love Within Me Clark

**I felt the rain falling but I paid it no mind. My whole being was centered upon Lana Lang and the naked pain that I glimpsed in her smoky hazel eyes.** **Her emotions** **showed lucid in the windows of her very soul and the real Lana Lang was revealed to my eyes, she was still beautiful to me. She had loved me from afar. I had always thought that she saw me only as Clark, her good friend but not now. I knew the truth of her feelings for me. As we stood under the gloomy, rain soaked skies, Lana saw me as the only one who loved her for what was locked up on the inside of her tortured heart. I felt just as vulnerable as she did. The world didn't exist for me; it was just we. I was sorely tempted to hold out my arms to her so that I could envelope her in the love that I felt for her but my arms stayed silent and by my side they stayed. She then turned her back to me and I felt something tear through my heart. Despite my intense affections for her, Lana was choosing to stay with the man that held the very key to her prison but was too afraid to let her go. She was forever trapped in the façade that was Lana Lang. She turned away from her heart's freedoms. The rain fell upon me but I wanted to drown in the torrents that ran in rivulets down my face. I became numb. I sent her one last plea with my eyes but her back intercept the message so I just walked away from the single object of my affections. I walked away from my dreams and nothing could ease the pain of losing what I had wanted for so long. Tears fell but no one saw. Loneliness is the only pain of a hero. **


	3. The Pain In Me Chloe

                        I watched them watching each other and I wanted to scream and cry out at the same time. No one would have noticed my crying because I was just Chloe. Chloe who was slightly snarky and cynical but reliable when the need arose. No one knew of my pain or sadness, not even my best friend Clark. I watched him stand, oblivious to the rain that was drenching him to the bone, and pine over Lana with his beautiful emerald eyes alight with his love for her. Now Lana knew what it was like to get lost in the endless stream of emotions that flooded Clark's gaze, I had myself gotten lost in those eyes on various occasions. Love was never an emotion that Clark showed to me, only friendly affection. For a split second, I had thought that maybe just maybe I was foremost in his thoughts; that he was seeing me as a female for the first time but that just wasn't the case. I stood watching them, not even paying attention to the real reason why we were all gathered in the cemetery. It was disrespectful to Mr. Fordman's memory but he was less important at the moment. I watched them and I knew that I would never have the heart of the only one that I truly loved. I loved him for his optimism, his naïveté and his overall outlook on life. The world was a cruel place but he thought that he could make a difference. How could you not love someone who thought that they could change the world? The surprising thing about Clark was that he could change the world if he so pleased. 

                        Clark would never pine for me like he pined over the perfect Ms. Lana Lang. I wanted to hate her but I wasn't that bitter. At least I don't think I am that bitter. I saw Lana turn her back to Clark and I saw his shoulders fall and the light in his eyes fell dim. I wanted to gather him in my arms despite his constantly over-looking the fact that I am a girl just like Lana. He could hurt like no one else yet he would have my forgiveness quicker than a wink. Yup, only fools fall in love with their best friends. I too turned away feeling lonely and dejected. I would lay down my life for Clark but he would not see my great sacrifice because he would always be blind to everything but Lana Lang. I was no match for perfection so I would stop trying. I was just Chloe, no one special. 

                        I drove off, the pain in my heart spilling over in my tears. No one could hurt me this badly or make me feel so very vulnerable but Clark, the dumb farmboy that he is, could and he didn't even know it. I would eventually forgive him because my love for him turned me into a gutless fool. I did not see the car barreling toward me until it was too late. Before the blackness overtook my sight, I called out for the only one in the world that could save me. The only one that I loved. 


	4. Invisible Man Pete

I saw the sadness in her eyes as she watched them. I was hidden in Clark's shadow just like I always was. I silently willed her to look away because the pain would break her but she didn't hear my wordless pleas. She was too lovesick to me. No one ever listened to me but I knew. I knew that Clark would never see Chloe as the sexy and beautiful person that she was and I also knew that Clark and Lana would never be. The guy in the background has amazing insights that stay buried because no one wants to hear them. Even if Whitney left, Lana would remain faithful to the quarterback but no one was going to ask my opinion of the situation at hand. I watched her heart crumble in his hands but he remained oblivious. Lana turned her back on him and he reciprocated the action to Chloe. I saw the darkness cloud her eyes as she came to the realization that he would never love her as more than a friend as she walked away with tears streaming down her lovely porcelain skin. She tore out of the cemetery, fleeing from the scene of her heartbreak. I took my time getting to my car and I drove off in search of her. I saw the oversized pick up and the mangled compact car but hardly gave it a second glance. I took the detour hoping to catch a glimpse of Chloe's pile of junk car. I flashed back to the pain I saw in her eyes and I hated him for hurting her like that but no one would see that hatred. I was just Pete. 

Sorry so short 

Next chapter soon


End file.
